I was just talking with my therapist this morning about this very thing! Somewhere along the way I started to think my love for getting dressed was frivolous or vain, and here where I live in the East Bay of Northern California, the often practical way of how people dress reinforces this limiting belief I hold. On my best days I still have fun with clothes and on my less good days I succumb to the things that make me feel like I will “fit in” rather than stand out. Also just so fun to read your UK references of New Look (my once former employer) and Dorothy Perkins - I lived in the UK from age 10 (1997-2012). Anyway if we lived closer I feel we would have a lot in common but I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for and in the meantime thank you for this great letter.
Ok SoCal ladies, let’s plan a meet up and bond over Fall shopping and our own fabulousness. Shall we wait til after Labor Day or fast track this before the mood shifts?
This is my first ever comment on a Substack post-I was motivated to it just because I am also missing that fashion connection IRL. My friends are wonderful but they don’t “do fashion” or just dress up for an ordinary day. Every day is a good day to dress up!
Unfortunately I’m up in Canada (Victoria) or I’d be all over a chitchat of the style kind.
Love your writing! Thanks so much for being so open, and please know you are not alone.
Thank you Sheila, yes i totally resonate. My friends are bloody lovely but none of them are really into fashion so it’s a funny one. Also honored that you left a comment! Thanks for being here x
Thank you for sharing this! I find I have to be very intentional about making and sustaining friendships as an adult. It's not always easy! I'm in LA and would love to connect for coffee, shopping, or a general hang out!
Thank you for being so vulnerable - this really resonated. I love style and fashion, but not just the consumption. The joy of dressing up, delighting in the occasion, savoring the little details, and really wish I could share that with friends IRL! Because so much of the joy of fashion and style to me transcends the flat 2D photo - textures, how things move, the little details…
But it’s really tough especially now that neutral is in and dressing up isn’t really a thing anymore. :(
Now I really jealous to everyone who lives in LA (I am now in Netherlands) - thank you for your openness, and really deep thoughts about fashion and style (this topics sometimes sound so superficial). I moved to Netherlands 2 years ago and question of finding friends is still actual for me. But I am sure there are plenty of your “soulmates” out there and wish you luck.
Thanks for being so vulnerable here. I share your desire for finding that joy. For me getting dressed is more about my own wellness than vanity. If you ever find yourself in Boston, I know a great coffee shop or two!
I feel this so deeply! My IRL friends dress a lot *ahem* differently than I do. My (long distance) bestie says my style is wasted in the PNW. 😂 That said, I feel like I have zero places to wear my things.
Any Seattle/Bellevue babes want to chat all things fashion?
Your shoes *cries*. I totally get you and I too am feeling a bit lonely lately. I love love love Substack and the community that is here but I am also craving more IRL connection and conversations that go on for hours, preferably about all these topics that are popping up on Substack.
Harriet, you should absolutely join us in SF next Friday! 🙃 We will be celebrating denim we love while connecting IRL, touching fabrics, interacting with tailors, sipping cocktails, dancing even. What you describe all along is really moving, and the reason why we started Objet in the first place <3 https://objet.cc/
I totally get what you mean! I moved to Switzerland over 30 years ago & I have one really good friend who I can talk fashion & style with. We both love the way clothes play a vital part of getting through daily life. I really enjoy reading your substack & I hope you can meet up with some other like-minded fashionistas IRL in LA. But keep on doing what you are doing because you do it very well. X
I was just talking with my therapist this morning about this very thing! Somewhere along the way I started to think my love for getting dressed was frivolous or vain, and here where I live in the East Bay of Northern California, the often practical way of how people dress reinforces this limiting belief I hold. On my best days I still have fun with clothes and on my less good days I succumb to the things that make me feel like I will “fit in” rather than stand out. Also just so fun to read your UK references of New Look (my once former employer) and Dorothy Perkins - I lived in the UK from age 10 (1997-2012). Anyway if we lived closer I feel we would have a lot in common but I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for and in the meantime thank you for this great letter.
Thanks for your lovely comment Amber and so funny, I also worked at New Look age 16!x
Ok my dear. I’ll meet you at Beverly Center or South Coast (the OC). We will shop, eat a lot of carbs and maybe have a bit too much Kir. I am FUN!
Sounds amazing! I can get to the Beverley centre! X
Ok SoCal ladies, let’s plan a meet up and bond over Fall shopping and our own fabulousness. Shall we wait til after Labor Day or fast track this before the mood shifts?
After labor day works for me as I’m away in the UK for most of August
Keep us posted on the details! I come to LA often for work, and I am so joining if the timing works out!
This is the kind of selfconfidence we all need! I am FUN too!
This is my first ever comment on a Substack post-I was motivated to it just because I am also missing that fashion connection IRL. My friends are wonderful but they don’t “do fashion” or just dress up for an ordinary day. Every day is a good day to dress up!
Unfortunately I’m up in Canada (Victoria) or I’d be all over a chitchat of the style kind.
Love your writing! Thanks so much for being so open, and please know you are not alone.
Thank you Sheila, yes i totally resonate. My friends are bloody lovely but none of them are really into fashion so it’s a funny one. Also honored that you left a comment! Thanks for being here x
Thank you for sharing this! I find I have to be very intentional about making and sustaining friendships as an adult. It's not always easy! I'm in LA and would love to connect for coffee, shopping, or a general hang out!
Yay I’m so down, feel free to drop me a DM x
Thank you for being so vulnerable - this really resonated. I love style and fashion, but not just the consumption. The joy of dressing up, delighting in the occasion, savoring the little details, and really wish I could share that with friends IRL! Because so much of the joy of fashion and style to me transcends the flat 2D photo - textures, how things move, the little details…
But it’s really tough especially now that neutral is in and dressing up isn’t really a thing anymore. :(
Let’s make dressing up a thing again!x
Now I really jealous to everyone who lives in LA (I am now in Netherlands) - thank you for your openness, and really deep thoughts about fashion and style (this topics sometimes sound so superficial). I moved to Netherlands 2 years ago and question of finding friends is still actual for me. But I am sure there are plenty of your “soulmates” out there and wish you luck.
I hope you find your soulmates too Tania, thank you for your kind words x
Thanks for being so vulnerable here. I share your desire for finding that joy. For me getting dressed is more about my own wellness than vanity. If you ever find yourself in Boston, I know a great coffee shop or two!
Would love to meet if ever I’m in Boston. Thanks Francesca x
I feel this so deeply! My IRL friends dress a lot *ahem* differently than I do. My (long distance) bestie says my style is wasted in the PNW. 😂 That said, I feel like I have zero places to wear my things.
Any Seattle/Bellevue babes want to chat all things fashion?
I want to come over to play! I have ideas and I will round them up and DM you. 😘
I am there with bells on!!!!xx
Your shoes *cries*. I totally get you and I too am feeling a bit lonely lately. I love love love Substack and the community that is here but I am also craving more IRL connection and conversations that go on for hours, preferably about all these topics that are popping up on Substack.
SAME! IRL chats just hit different, but I’m still so glad I found Substack and this community x
It is difficult. I've yet to crack the code. I would be your willing accomplice in less time than it takes to put on lippy. But I live in Dallas, TX.
Thanks Michelle, I’m grateful you’re part of this community x
Harriet, you should absolutely join us in SF next Friday! 🙃 We will be celebrating denim we love while connecting IRL, touching fabrics, interacting with tailors, sipping cocktails, dancing even. What you describe all along is really moving, and the reason why we started Objet in the first place <3 https://objet.cc/
Thank you so much for the kind invite, sadly I won’t be able to make it but it sounds amazing!x
Stay tuned for the LA edition ;)
Can’t wait!
I love this! I often feel the same about people just not getting being a fashion girly and how dressing up makes you feel so much better overall.
I totally get what you mean! I moved to Switzerland over 30 years ago & I have one really good friend who I can talk fashion & style with. We both love the way clothes play a vital part of getting through daily life. I really enjoy reading your substack & I hope you can meet up with some other like-minded fashionistas IRL in LA. But keep on doing what you are doing because you do it very well. X
Thanks Louise x