Interestingly, living in more conservative parts of the world forced me to re-assess what felt good to wear, because sexy was not an option any more. It was not what my heart wanted, but instead I was forced to stick to new (to me) social norms for personal safety/professional acceptability.
Now that I live somewhere more free (which I do recommend, its not nice to be in a 'must be covered up' headspace all the time); I am much more conscious of how I feel wearing something, in a certain context. I find I hate the feeling of a flimsy, skimpy dress, I actually feel vulnerable and unsafe. However the same amount of skin showing in a sturdier fabric might work well for me.
This journey of course includes my partner-(yes he's from that conservative place) who had to get used to (and graciously did) ways of dressing that for me are comfortable/empowering in the right context but were at first uncomfortable for him (my legs and shoulders will be free, damnit)
I used to feel that I had no other option but to dress sexy for the opposite sex! So much fun to now finally have the confidence to dress for me! Loved this article thanks!
I really really love this post. I called out one portion, but there were so many that spoke to me so deeply. This idea of starting from what your heart wants vs. what others are wearing. Yes. After being told what's right and wrong in fashion, tuning into the heart is a much needed practice. Thank you for this!
The pandemic induced WFH helped me decouple external gaze from my outfits. I used to dress very feminine. My partner adored my style. I now wear oversized pants with tshirts, inspired by our trips to Japan. Swapped the pumps for sneakers. He is baffled at the extreme swing in my repelling anything feminine from my past. Maintaining romance/desire in (very) long term relationships takes work. We all change and should be allowed to change our minds. I have been struggling to find that balance between dressing solely for myself and allowing some cracks to include him.
Interestingly, living in more conservative parts of the world forced me to re-assess what felt good to wear, because sexy was not an option any more. It was not what my heart wanted, but instead I was forced to stick to new (to me) social norms for personal safety/professional acceptability.
Now that I live somewhere more free (which I do recommend, its not nice to be in a 'must be covered up' headspace all the time); I am much more conscious of how I feel wearing something, in a certain context. I find I hate the feeling of a flimsy, skimpy dress, I actually feel vulnerable and unsafe. However the same amount of skin showing in a sturdier fabric might work well for me.
This journey of course includes my partner-(yes he's from that conservative place) who had to get used to (and graciously did) ways of dressing that for me are comfortable/empowering in the right context but were at first uncomfortable for him (my legs and shoulders will be free, damnit)
Thanks so much for sharing Jen x
Loved reading this so much and I also loved your pictures!
Thanks so much Ofelia x
I used to feel that I had no other option but to dress sexy for the opposite sex! So much fun to now finally have the confidence to dress for me! Loved this article thanks!
Thanks for sharing Jo, so glad to hear you’re enjoying dressing for you x
I really really love this post. I called out one portion, but there were so many that spoke to me so deeply. This idea of starting from what your heart wants vs. what others are wearing. Yes. After being told what's right and wrong in fashion, tuning into the heart is a much needed practice. Thank you for this!
Thanks so much X
The pandemic induced WFH helped me decouple external gaze from my outfits. I used to dress very feminine. My partner adored my style. I now wear oversized pants with tshirts, inspired by our trips to Japan. Swapped the pumps for sneakers. He is baffled at the extreme swing in my repelling anything feminine from my past. Maintaining romance/desire in (very) long term relationships takes work. We all change and should be allowed to change our minds. I have been struggling to find that balance between dressing solely for myself and allowing some cracks to include him.
Thanks for sharing Neela x