Harriet THANK YOU for writing this. I need to go to the spa and the renaissance gallery. I never get sick of reading this type of post because it's a lesson to learn over and over. thank you for sharing :)
I had a similar self acceptance experience in a hammam in Turkey. I also made friends with people who are unselfconscious, happy & free. They may not dress the way I admire but their personality and love of life is more beautiful than any physical aesthetic. And, I started making my own clothes. After 10 years, my wardrobe is 90% self made. I still use Indyx, I still buy cool accessories, and my clothes closely mirror my fav designers. But they don’t max out at size 10 or 12. I follow you for style inspiration to inform my making & design decisions, not shopping inspo. Making clothes tailored to my body makes me feel confident & authentic. It eliminates size/model comparisons. And spending my time on a craft that uses my creative & analytical brain, plus my hands, is so much more satisfying than shopping. I know not everyone has the privilege of time, space & budget to do it, but I highly recommend it if possible.
I lived in Turkey for many years and have to say the hammam experience is truly so freeing. I remember years later wearing a two piece swimsuit that showed a bit of my stomach. I felt great in it even though by traditional standards I “shouldn’t have”. My friends who had been hiding in one pieces or tankinis were shocked by this and in turn felt free to do the same. I was thrilled to see and model this for my daughter. Just a bunch of moms who are happy to be in their bodies. ❤️
I am so grateful for this post and the hope that it gives me (and- certainly- other readers). I have struggled over the years with disordered eating hoping to get my body to look like someone else’s. And then a few years ago, after a whole lot of reflection, I stopped. I went to the mall and bought jeans in the next size up (I’ve gone up another size since then) and I resolved to stop wishing I looked different. Ironically the trend of wearing oversized clothes helped heal me because I was intentionally buying clothes that weren’t skin tight and realized I loved the freedom I felt.
Thank you Harriet. For me, it was using my body, not just looking at it. Strength training and getting stronger, not thinner. Focusing on what I can do, how it breathes. Being huge in pregnancy and noticing it was okay because my body was doing and being, not displaying. Being grateful for the privilege of being able.
I love everything you wrote, Harriet. It’s SO hard to be a woman, there are just so many voices and pressures and complexities- but when you find ways to cut through the noise and plug into your own beauty and worth, it’s truly amazing. I need to go to a Korean spa!!!
This was a gorgeous piece of writing, Harriet, thank you so much for sharing it. Like so many of us, I grew up thinking the thinner the better, and my body was something to work on, not an engine for a well-lived life. It’s taken me a long time to separate the number on the scale and the clothes from a numerical ranking of myself. A lot of what you suggested is how I got there myself, as is realizing life is short, good health is fleeting, and I am so grateful for the body I have.
This is wonderful Harriet. Diet culture, 'we should like like this and be this size' is soooo woven into my DNA, and even with the best intentions around exorcising it, it always comes back. Bookmarking this. Thank you 🙏
Powerfully written, Harry! Learning to sew clothes during the pandemic initiated my own epiphany. I learned that my body was never the problem, I just needed clothes that fit its unique contours in my personally preferred way. Next, I unfollowed people who preached how to look smaller or how to camouflage parts of our bodies. That led me to you, and your No Buy Course.
This was so beautifully written. Appreciate you sharing your experience and honesty with us! And how lucky are we that you found comfort in your body and decided to no longer hide so you can share your incredible style. ❤️
With age comes wisdom? Certainly in my case. Years ago I was visiting a friend in NYC and we found ourselves walking behind a girl who had to be a model. She was tall and willowy and tiny. A lightbulb went off in my head. In that moment it became clear to me that there was no way I could achieve her body because everything about me was just bigger. Losing weight wasn’t going to make me look like her.
This was such a powerful post. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty—it’s refreshing to read someone so reflective and compassionate.
I’m impressed by how you rebuilt your relationship with your body and loved your specific strategies. Now I’m really curious about the Korean spa experience!
A few months ago, I wrote a Substack post called "How Do You Learn to Love a Body That Let You Down?" about learning to love my body after two miscarriages. Many of the things you shared—like opting out of diet culture and buying clothes that fit—really resonated with me and helped me, too.
Thank you for sharing this. You are truly inspiring.
Harriet THANK YOU for writing this. I need to go to the spa and the renaissance gallery. I never get sick of reading this type of post because it's a lesson to learn over and over. thank you for sharing :)
Thanks Maureen!❤️
I had a similar self acceptance experience in a hammam in Turkey. I also made friends with people who are unselfconscious, happy & free. They may not dress the way I admire but their personality and love of life is more beautiful than any physical aesthetic. And, I started making my own clothes. After 10 years, my wardrobe is 90% self made. I still use Indyx, I still buy cool accessories, and my clothes closely mirror my fav designers. But they don’t max out at size 10 or 12. I follow you for style inspiration to inform my making & design decisions, not shopping inspo. Making clothes tailored to my body makes me feel confident & authentic. It eliminates size/model comparisons. And spending my time on a craft that uses my creative & analytical brain, plus my hands, is so much more satisfying than shopping. I know not everyone has the privilege of time, space & budget to do it, but I highly recommend it if possible.
Wow this is so cool Brianna, thank you for sharing x
I lived in Turkey for many years and have to say the hammam experience is truly so freeing. I remember years later wearing a two piece swimsuit that showed a bit of my stomach. I felt great in it even though by traditional standards I “shouldn’t have”. My friends who had been hiding in one pieces or tankinis were shocked by this and in turn felt free to do the same. I was thrilled to see and model this for my daughter. Just a bunch of moms who are happy to be in their bodies. ❤️
Beautiful!
Fellow sewist here. Agree 100%. It’s such a blessing to be able to make your own clothes.
This is amazing.
I am so grateful for this post and the hope that it gives me (and- certainly- other readers). I have struggled over the years with disordered eating hoping to get my body to look like someone else’s. And then a few years ago, after a whole lot of reflection, I stopped. I went to the mall and bought jeans in the next size up (I’ve gone up another size since then) and I resolved to stop wishing I looked different. Ironically the trend of wearing oversized clothes helped heal me because I was intentionally buying clothes that weren’t skin tight and realized I loved the freedom I felt.
Thank you so much for sharing Kelly ❤️
Thank you Harriet. For me, it was using my body, not just looking at it. Strength training and getting stronger, not thinner. Focusing on what I can do, how it breathes. Being huge in pregnancy and noticing it was okay because my body was doing and being, not displaying. Being grateful for the privilege of being able.
Thank you so much for this. I needed it. It’s hard to be so vulnerable online but know that you helped at least one person feel better and learn. ❤️
I love everything you wrote, Harriet. It’s SO hard to be a woman, there are just so many voices and pressures and complexities- but when you find ways to cut through the noise and plug into your own beauty and worth, it’s truly amazing. I need to go to a Korean spa!!!
It really is! Thanks so much Emily 💓
This was a gorgeous piece of writing, Harriet, thank you so much for sharing it. Like so many of us, I grew up thinking the thinner the better, and my body was something to work on, not an engine for a well-lived life. It’s taken me a long time to separate the number on the scale and the clothes from a numerical ranking of myself. A lot of what you suggested is how I got there myself, as is realizing life is short, good health is fleeting, and I am so grateful for the body I have.
Thanks Lindsay ❤️
This is wonderful Harriet. Diet culture, 'we should like like this and be this size' is soooo woven into my DNA, and even with the best intentions around exorcising it, it always comes back. Bookmarking this. Thank you 🙏
TYSM Jen 😘
Thank you for sharing your story. Harriet!!
Thanks Sogole 💓
Thank you from the bottom of my heart…I have finally learned to accept and honor my body at 72 ❤️
I love this so much!x
Powerfully written, Harry! Learning to sew clothes during the pandemic initiated my own epiphany. I learned that my body was never the problem, I just needed clothes that fit its unique contours in my personally preferred way. Next, I unfollowed people who preached how to look smaller or how to camouflage parts of our bodies. That led me to you, and your No Buy Course.
Thank you Gina, i’m so grateful for you and love how much you share in our. community! I always get ideas from your looks!
This was so beautifully written. Appreciate you sharing your experience and honesty with us! And how lucky are we that you found comfort in your body and decided to no longer hide so you can share your incredible style. ❤️
Thank you Maria X
With age comes wisdom? Certainly in my case. Years ago I was visiting a friend in NYC and we found ourselves walking behind a girl who had to be a model. She was tall and willowy and tiny. A lightbulb went off in my head. In that moment it became clear to me that there was no way I could achieve her body because everything about me was just bigger. Losing weight wasn’t going to make me look like her.
I am slowly gathering resources on body neutrality for a friend & this post felt like such a warm hug from an older sister 🩷
I love that!
Harriet,
This was such a powerful post. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty—it’s refreshing to read someone so reflective and compassionate.
I’m impressed by how you rebuilt your relationship with your body and loved your specific strategies. Now I’m really curious about the Korean spa experience!
A few months ago, I wrote a Substack post called "How Do You Learn to Love a Body That Let You Down?" about learning to love my body after two miscarriages. Many of the things you shared—like opting out of diet culture and buying clothes that fit—really resonated with me and helped me, too.
Thank you for sharing this. You are truly inspiring.
Thank you for this, yet another example of your generosity in sharing your talent. I’m going to try the mirror exercise.