5 things I *stopped* doing to stay true to my style
that helps me feel at home in my body
One: I don’t buy or read beauty/fashion magazines
“Don’t read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly” - Baz Luhrmann, from the Wear Sunscreen song. For the most part, I find mainstream glossy magazines pretty piss poor when it comes to inclusivity (I appreciate there’s been some progress, but we still have a longggg way to go) and if i’m honest…a little predictable. In order for print to stay alive it often requires half the magazine to consist of ads (which in itself is annoying) but it also reinforces certain beauty ideals and body standards over others. This is one of the reasons I love Substack, by subscribing to a variety of writers I choose, it enables me to build my own magazine, one I look forward to reading.
Two: I don’t intentionally follow trends
Because of the above, it means for the most part I’m not very in the know about hyper specific trends, and honestly, i’m not bothered in the slightest that I don’t. In some ways social media can make it hard to escape, which is another reason I’ve found a lot of breathing space by taking a sabbatical from Instagram. Sure it can be fun to experiment with trends from time to time when something speaks to you, but following trends and making all your stylistic choices based on what fashion says is hot right now is a sure fire way to overspend on a lot of stuff you only wear once (or for one season at best). I might buy something that is ‘on trend’ but only if it’s still something I believe i’ll still wear when said item or look is no longer trending.
Three: I don’t buy things in the sale
*Unless* it’s something I would happily pay full price for. This has been one of the biggest changes over the past two years when it comes to my buying behaviour. It’s also a big part of why I felt confident doing my no buy 365 wardrobe challenge (currently on day 177) because I could see how intentional my wardrobe had become. It helped me stop making impulse purchases inspired by a sale price and something being a good deal. Today a good deal is only a good deal if it’s something I’ll actually use and wear regularly. I’m happier to pay a higher price for something I genuinely want and have less in my wardrobe, than buy more and accumulate a lot of stuff I’ll ultimately end up giving away/wear once or twice.
I can’t deny, there’s no better feeling than buying something you’ve been longing for at a discounted price. It feels like a double win, especially when it’s been a piece that you’ve had time to romanticize, and sit with how it will add to your existing wardrobe. When i’ve had time to plan out how I’ll wear a piece and what it will go with, and take my time on my reasons for wanting it, that’s when seeing it on sale feels like i’m being rewarded for waiting. And hey, some things just aren’t meant to be. I’ve seen pieces I missed out on find there way to me several years later via the pre loved market or in an outlet. I’ve also had pieces I missed out on that on reflection I completely forgot about, and was glad I didn’t buy. My favorite saying in life is ‘i’m not in a rush’ which I also apply to building my forever wardrobe.
Four: I don’t dress for my husband
I won’t go into detail on this one, because I wrote an entire Substack on it here. But if there’s one thing I hope more than anything you take away from my writing on substack, it’s this. Dress for you, whatever that means, and whatever that looks like. We are here for a good time, not a long time. Life is too short to spend it dressing for someone else (yes, even your partner).
Five: I don’t weigh/measure myself
For the past (i’d guess) ten years or so, when I am weighed at the doctors I politely ask them not to tell me my weight. I step on the scale backwards so I don’t have to see how much I weigh. This was a personal choice I made after many years struggling with disordered eating, which offered a huge relief, a way for me to truly reconnect with my body and feel present in it. Sure, i’m not a model… but you best believe I enjoy getting dressed, I enjoy a good strut, and I believe we’re all worthy of some serious main character energy no matter what shape or size we are, and no matter what we look like. When I stopped weighing myself, I learned to let go of the belief that clothes needed to make me look thinner. I let go of searching out clothes that were considered flattering. I leaned in to the things that pleased me. I stopped waiting to be a certain size or weight to wear the clothes I wanted. This shift alone was monumental when it came to feeling at home in my body, and truly embodying my own sense of style.
Thanks for reading, i’d love to know in the comments what has worked for you?
Harry x
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You have so much main character energy. I first encountered you on Youtube, and I was like "This person has IT and she is gonna share it with me!!" I love this post, your openness and tips. Nodding agreeing + cheering!
These are all excellent action items, Harry. Like
you, I’ve logged out of Instagram and have no desire to go back. I’ve also stopped trying to define my style. It just doesn’t work for me. I’ve found I feel less stressed, less limited, and more likely to feel authentic in my outfits when I choose items based on what naturally pleases me as opposed to thinking so hard about whether it fits into a predefined category/style.