How to navigate weight gain & a forever wardrobe

Oh we're going there....

I’ve thought long and hard about whether a) I want to talk about this, and b) how to talk about this. So I’m going to give it my best shot to speak candidly about my own experience and I hope this might be helpful to anyone else navigating weight gain when they’ve built a wardrobe they love.

When it comes to gaining weight I firmly believe you get to choose what you want to do about it, if anything. Not doing anything about it will always be an option, and there have been many times in the past where I chose to just buy bigger clothes and crack on because I didn’t mind the weight gain, I felt good, I felt content in my body.

As someone in my mid twenties who had to navigate weight gain in ED recovery I have experience gaining weight, and that weight while hard at first had so much more to do with control than how I looked. But there came a point in that journey where it was a relief settling into my bigger body. I finally felt at home.

It was probably around that time that I started to buy pieces I now consider the foundation of my forever wardrobe. No longer in the grips of trying to sustain an impossible weight for myself, getting dressed became fun again. I fell more in love with fashion than when I used to work directly in it.

But yesterday I said the thing you’re not meant to say as a mid sized or plus size content creator…'I want to lose a little weight’. Running multiple businesses and watching them grow beyond anything I could have imagined this past two years has been a humbling lesson in managing my nervous system. While i’m forever grateful and I love the work i’m doing, I think i’ve actually been stress eating for the past few months and while the dialogue i’ve had with myself has been loving, (what a miracle it is to feel zero shame in gaining weight) I do feel i’ve tipped into I don’t feel like my best self right now. I feel tired, and I haven’t been looking after myself as well physically.

There I said it. Are the bopo police going to come for me? Who knows. But I think the point i’m trying to make is saying I want to lose weight no longer means I want to starve myself or do anything drastic. I’m not trying to lose 2 stone in a month, I just want to fit in my beloved Toteme silk pants I bought that cost me an arm and a leg. It’s probably an amount of weight no one would even notice if Iost it, but not being able to wear pieces i’ve spent a lot of money on sucks. There’s no denying it.

Photography Drew Blackwell. Art Direction me.

There will be no weighing or measuring involved (both my body or my food) but I do want to spend some time figuring out how to manage the stress better and explore what getting back to my ‘sweet spot’ looks like in a way that feels kind and loving. I’m not in a rush, and I still have a lot of love for my body now.

The best thing about having a forever wardrobe (and probably doing this 365 no buy challenge) is that I do have outfits that allow me the flexibility for my weight to fluctuate, because that’s what happens in life. I’m nearly 40, and my body will continue to change as I get older, and fluctuate between a certain weight.

So yes, it’s not surprising that my most worn items right now do in fact consist mainly of elasticated waists, but they’re still pieces I feel amazing in. I’ve always valued comfort, and while I LOVE getting dressed up, i’m also the same person who comes home and puts her pyjamas on (cashmere or silk mind you).

One of the things I actually love most about social media is that I’m able to see bodies of all different shapes and sizes being celebrated, something I desperately needed in my early twenties and I’m so grateful the bopo movement exists, but there are times when you can feel like you are cheating on the ‘sisterhood’ by saying I want to lose a little weight.

To bring us back to the title, a forever wardrobe should allow some wiggle room when it comes to weight gain. For my hardest working items (black trousers and jeans) i’ve always bought them in two sizes, because it helps my brain knowing my body is catered to no matter what its needs are at any given time.

If i’m wearing the bigger size I don’t shame myself for it, I still enjoy my wardrobe, because I love everything in it, no matter what size the label says. It takes the pressure off when I know I don’t have to wait until i’m a smaller size to wear clothes I feel good in.

This might sound contradictory, but I think there’s so much nuance when it comes to talking about our bodies and our weight. For me the focus has been on the fact my current eating habits definitely feel stress related, and while I’m totally accepting of the fact my body will naturally do that from time to time, it’s become more frequent than i’m ok with of late, and that’s what made me want to say some stuff out loud.

Thanks for reading! We’re officially past the three week mark with my no buy 365 wardrobe so next week will be a month into the challenge. Expect some spring goodness as well as a monthly round up of the challenge so far.

Harry x