How a year long no buy changed my life (not just my wardrobe)
Like most experiments, you can never fully know how it will impact you until it’s completed. Sure you can hypothesize and make predictions, some of which come true, others not so much, but what about the truly unexpected? That’s what I want to talk about today.
My 365 no buy wardrobe challenge was one of the most creative things i’ve ever done. It made me slow the fuck down in so many ways. I presumed it would save me money, help me confront my emotional spending, and challenge me creatively but some of the best things that came out of it were things I don’t think I could have ever predicted.
I went from hating cooking to loving it
When I was working all hours of the day with a brain that was working overtime, cooking/baking was the last thing I cared about. Cooking was a chore. I had the odd moment here and there of wanting to make something. An episode of bake off might inspire a momentary desire to bake a cake, but then nothing again for months on end, sometimes years. My flour actually went rancid, I didn’t know flour went off lol. I bought cook books, all the cooking paraphernalia, but for the most part they lay in my kitchen gathering dust. It didn’t help that I also believed I was bad at cooking, so instead, I ordered in (ALOT) and ate out all the time. I ordered ready prepared meals to be delivered instead of grocery shopping. I spent an awful lot of money on food that wasn’t always worth what I paid for it. If I did buy fresh produce from the farmers market, it usually sat rotting in our fridge. I’m ashamed to say more times than not said produce ended up in the bin because while I liked the idea of cooking with it, I often didn’t know where to start, that or I just felt too exhausted.
From doing my no buy I got really good at working with what I had, and without realizing I started to see my fridge and cupboards the same way. I realized I could apply the same level of creativity to making food as I had done with my wardrobe. Curiosity became a guiding force during my no buy and I had to ask myself where this belief of being ‘a terrible cook’ had come from and why I believed it? There were so many meals I had always wanted to try, some more simple than others and some quite intimidating to someone who already thinks they can’t cook.
As I stepped away from my business, I embraced using the time I did have to give cooking shot. But I took the pressure off, I gave myself permission to be a bad cook, and keep learning. Not only was I suddenly saving a ton of money, but I was genuinely impressed by what I was capable of. Cooking became an activity I no longer had to rush. I took pride in it and took great comfort in using my kitchen, one I had worked so hard to afford but never got to enjoy. I felt a level of gratitude I hadn’t experienced before for what I had, rather than obsessing about the bathrooms we never got finished or what room was next on the list. I once heard a past mentor say she didn’t belong in the kitchen she belonged at the bank. Ooof my brain ran away with that one! Somewhere along the road of ambition I made that mean that providing for me and my partner in any way that wasn’t financial meant i’d let myself (and the sisterhood) down. Now I believe there’s room for both. Of course there are times when cooking can feel like a chore, but to realize it’s just another way to be creative, to enjoy what I have, and most importantly to use things up… that has been life changing.
I rekindled my love of reading
Thanks in part to depression, and deciding that I didn’t want to be influenced by the latest ‘new in’ and weekly hauls, I took a break from Instagram for about 6 months during my no buy. I knew i’d be more likely to turn to my own wardrobe if I felt uninspired or ‘spendy’ during my no buy if I couldn’t look to other people for inspiration. This alone was huge in reconnecting back into my own likes and dislikes. When I took away the scroll, I had this magical thing called time. As a result I started picking up books again, and once I did I could not stop. I felt satiated. Satiated in a way that social media just can’t give me.
Looking back, I remember having depression in my early twenties and the exact same thing happened - I became obsessed with reading. Not in a ‘I need to read x amount of books this month’ way but more in awe of all this art that made my life feel richer. I remember reading poetry, literature and being so confused as to why it had taken something so devastating to reconnect me to something that bought me so much joy. Sadly, when I went back to work in my twenties I put the books down. I believed I was only allowed those things in order to ‘recover’. It felt too indulgent to keep that up. I don’t think I even realized it was a hobby of the purest kind. Also, why has it taken me eight years of living in LA to get a library card? That alone has been life changing.
Now i’m closer to 40, and I have vowed to not let this become something I only grant myself when i’m feeling close to burn out. I don’t have to earn the joy that reading brings me. It felt poignant that I chose to celebrate my no buy ending with a thrifted book haul, not a shopping spree of clothes.
I started to make things again
No not content, but things, tangible things that brought me joy. I remember looking at some of my empty candle holders unable to throw them away, mainly because how much I had spent on them. (I was the kid that lived for Blue Peter. No one in our home was allowed to throw anything away that could be made into something.) I had more than enough empty candle jars for makeup brushes and pens and pencils. I thought to myself ‘it can’t be that hard to make your own candles’? After an hour on YouTube, and $70 of candle making beginner friendly supplies I set out to fill those pretty containers and bring them back to life instead of buying more fancy candles. Without meaning to, I became fascinated by the science, the process. I made a candle making notebook where i’d record what wax I used, how much fragrance, what temperature I poured the wax at. It was so much fun and again, without meaning to it became a hobby. I decided instead of bringing a bottle of wine to dinner at friends houses, I’d bring a homemade candle. And yes I did get labels made with my logo on and boxes to gift them to friends because i’m just a little bit extra ok!
My no buy reminded me of the importance to make do and mend. Being able to turn a pair of jeans into the shorts I wanted instead of buying them, and appreciating a beautifully resoled pair of shoes after a visit to the local cobbler reminded me how powerful it is to be able to make things. I always look at things now and wonder first: could I make that? Whether it’s a candle, a piece of art or a notion template. I’m willing to have a go.
The excitement of running out to our garage in the morning to observe and monitor the progress of my candles curing feels like christmas morning every morning. I love the idea of giving people I love a gift i’ve made, knowing I spent time making something, thinking about what scent I would choose for them and seeing it in their home.
I returned to analogue practices and spend less time on my phone
Look, I know it feels like a cliche, especially post burnout when someone says i’m being pulled towards a more analogue existence, but it makes so much sense. Especially, if being online in some capacity has been a big part of how you earn a living/promote your business. Before burning out my average daily phone usage was 7-9 hours a day! WTF?! Now it’s usually between 2-2.5 hours, and i’d like to decrease that further. (I do love a facetime call tho) While i’ve seriously considered getting a flip phone, i’m not there yet. Instead i’ve come back to practices/hobbies that invoke play (much like my wardrobe playdates) and anything that reminds me of being a kid. That being said…
If you don’t know this about me already I LOVE stationary. I love journals, notebooks, filofaxes and anything that reminds me of eight year old Harry getting her first Fun Fax (THE OG) from the school book fair. I would lose hours playing in my Fun Fax and Spy File, so much so that when my mum bought me my first ‘grown up’ filofax it felt like the greatest day of my life! (I mean, I was only 8 years old).
Every summer holiday as a kid I used to make a scrapbook. Generally it never got more exciting than what i’d had for dinner or which Cartoon Network show I’d watched, but the act of recording my day, with illustrations and notes, being able to capture memories is something I feel so happy to have gone back to as an adult. I’m tired of every precious memory getting lost inside my phone. It feels so good to return to pen and paper, my first love.
My approach to my no buy was to get creative, to see being in my wardrobe as ‘playtime’ and a way to be with myself. Playing dress up offered some much needed relief from adulting, and continues to do so. There is a lightness to getting dressed and any time I find that ‘lightness’ I run towards it. Cutting things out and sticking them down onto paper and being able to look through these little journals throughout the day brings me so much joy. There’s something about adding stickers that my inner child just loves. It literally makes me smile. Now In the evenings, instead of doom scrolling I print out any memories I want to record or anything I did see online that I want to remember so I don’t have to refer back to my phone again. I make a pot of decaf tea in my beloved teapot and bring it to my desk on a my beautiful thrifted brass tray and just play with my journals.
Before I burnt out I became obsessed with trying to find a hobby. I approached it like a job. I can vividly remember feeling like I was about to have a meltdown in Michaels because I couldn’t find anything I wanted to do. Among all those isles of endless crafting opportunities, I couldn’t find a single thing I wanted to try. I understand now that was because I had nothing left to give to anything else. My business had the best of me and I spent most of my day in front of a screen. I woke up thinking about work and I went to bed thinking about work.
A hobby would have been lovely, and I knew I wanted one but it stayed something i’d prioritise ‘later’ because like everything at that time, it just felt like more work. In order to slow down i’ve learned I have to take things away. I need less, not more. If prioritizing my creativity and play are important to me, then creative constraints make that easier not harder. Not every moment, not every day, but I need to use things up, work with what I have and remind myself how creative I actually am.
Being able to slow down is a privilege not everyone can afford, and look i’m still figuring it out. My life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns every waking moment, no one’s is. But my no buy did make me ask questions I hadn’t been willing to put on the table before. It gave me the space to feel, and to check in with myself. It provided a moment to pause. Rather than focusing on what I can’t do, what I don’t have, it’s taught me to focus on what can I do with what I do have. Whether that’s in my wardrobe, how much money I have or with my time.
Thanks for reading
Harry x
If you’d like to learn more about The No Buy Styling Course you can do so here, and you can shop my wardrobe here (some links contain affiliates)
It’s so interesting to see how your no-buy year and digital detox caused you to pivot to more analog hobbies and practices. I have such a love-hate relationship with social media (and with my phone); this is an intriguing glimpse into how life would be without it.
I really enjoyed reading this! Your article and no buy are very inspiring. I would love to cook/bake more myself. This month I started with a sewing class, I never used a sewing machine. It really excites me to learn something new and just be creative. I love to follow your journey on Substack!