Childs play & the foundations of personal style

The wonder of childlike curiosity and when does style begin?

My finished loom band necklace

The first thing my 4 year old niece wanted to do the moment she walked through the door, was to make loom band jewelry with me. Her eager little face bursting with excitement at the thought of showing me how she’d made the two brightly coloured bracelets she wore on her wrist. She placed the box of brightly coloured elastics in front of me and proceeded to give me a live demonstration. As an aunt, i’m guilty of finding all the reasons in the world to opt out of ‘playing’ with my nieces and nephews, but making something together? That’s something not only I can get behind, but something I treasure.

As I wove each elastic she grew increasingly excited (as did I) suggesting very passionately which colour I should use next. ‘pink auntie Harry!’ I felt like a child again, (in the best way imaginable) while I sat at my mum’s dining table, covered in felt tip pen marks, my niece gleefully cheering me on. I got excited about wearing it proudly with a white tee and jeans. I could tell how much joy it brought her seeing me genuinely wanting to wear my new loom band necklace. Hopefully a memory both of us will cherish.

Those colorful bands evoked such strong memories. The kind of memories that make you think about the best friends you have as a kid, the ones who gave you half a heart necklace from Claires Accessories inscribed with the words ‘best friends’ or friendship bracelets braided with embroidery silks.

Style is primarily a form of play for me. That’s the part I connect with the most. Sure it has many other meanings and my relationship to style often changes depending on my mood and what i’m experiencing at any given moment in my life. But before I had money of my own, I was always making stuff. Whether it was necklaces out of conkers, or denim bags out of my dad’s old jeans, I would find a way to experiment with style, even if I wasn’t technically aware that’s what I was doing.

As I watched my nieces play in the paddling pool, I wondered…. when does style begin? At 3 and 4 (going on 5) they’re both pretty clear on what they do and don’t like. Both could point out what they wanted to wear when given the choice, and each had chosen the badges on their tiny pink and purple crocs.

Even at these early ages, their little personalities shine brightly. It was fascinating to watch them choose what could be described as the foundations of personal style. While I appreciate my sister buys their clothes, she can already attest to what they will and won’t wear that she has bought for them, and that to an extent, she now buys clothes that are in keeping with their very vocal preferences.

While it’s highly likely their sense of style will evolve along with their sense of self as they grown up, I just think it’s interesting to consider where and when does style begin?

If I were to use myself as a case study, I know one of my least favorite things my mum ever did was to dress me and my sister in matching outfits. Which is kind of ironic given that I’m always up for twinning with my sister now i’m older, but back then I wanted to seperate myself as the older one. I wanted my independence, even as a child. I was aware that one way I could separate my identity was through what I wore.

I actively told my mum I didn’t want to wear skirts because it meant I couldn’t do cart wheels in them without everyone seeing my knickers. Skirts were harder to climb trees in. I wanted leggings and t-shirts. I wanted clothing that was highly functional for the activities that 8 year old me saw as a priority, but I also had an awareness of what felt more me, and less me. Which clothes felt comfortable in both a physical sense as well as an emotional one.

Playing dress up with my nieces who decided I needed to order an adult size Snow White costume, so naturally I didn’t want to disappoint.

As we age it’s easy to lose that sense of our own personal preference thanks to the fashion industry, social media (and society at large) telling us there is a right way to dress and that what we like isn’t cool enough, flattering or age appropriate.

We are told that fitting in outweighs our personal preferences and the things that make us feel most at home in our bodies.

When I started school I remember being laughed at for using a multi-coloured little briefcase my mum had bought me that I probably begged her for. Until my cute little school bag was laughed at, I had loved it. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world, and yet suddenly I was painfully aware that liking something that other people hadn’t seen before, and anything that goes against the norm is often rejected.

But watching my nieces while they played, I was so inspired by the fact that wearing a tutu, with pudsey bear ears and stripy socks was their choice, one that felt fun. It didn’t need to make sense to anyone but them. We could all take a leaf out of their book when it comes to getting dressed, and approaching personal style that is genuinely personal.

Thanks for reading,

Harry x

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